Random

This is the blog that I wrote two weeks ago that I got too distracted to finish or post, so I thought that since I had it that I should just post it:
Amusingly enough, in response to Prichard’s comments about the angel and devil on the shoulder comment, the last time that I dressed up for Halloween (about two years ago) I had created my own costume where my left half was dressed as an angel and my right half was dressed as a devil. (This outfit went quite well with the Heaven and Hell themed rave I attended at some seedy club in Seattle). I have always loved dressing up for Halloween, loved the idea of being able to walk outside in a crazy outfit that on any other day would be considered out-of-the-norm. One thing that I despise (and yet still conformed to) was the shift from Halloween being a time for kids to dress up (like witches, Disney princesses, ninjas, etc) into a time when teenage girls get to dress like a slut without being labeled as it. I think I good example of this is in Mean Girls when the ‘Plastics’ went out and bought lingerie and then added bunny ears to it and said they were a bunny. I can remember dressing like an evil witch when I was little, with green hair, black teeth, and a huge wart on my nose and going trick or treating. And then years later, I remember dressing like a slutty French maid and then going to a huge party. And what’s sad is that I really just wanted to go trick or treating. Halloween this year was completely shitty, mainly because the last thing I wanted to do was dress up and go to a huge party. It’s strange that a holiday that is meant to be fun turned into something that wasn’t enjoyable and I felt awkward and out of place because I was not wearing a costume.
There is no doubt in my mind that every single time I step out of the door I am wearing a costume, I am starring in my own play where I get to write my own lines and I get to portray myself the way that I want to. Most often when I am feeling good I will dress up nice (and for me that means actually brushing my hair and maybe putting eyeliner on since I am extremely lazy) and when I’m feeling shlumpy (phrase coined by Princess Bala in the movie Antz) I will basically put on a sweatshirt and walk out the door. Yet when I’m feeling really bad I will still dress up nice and go through the day trying my best to act like I’m feeling fine and to anyone who doesn’t know me well they’d never be able to tell. I think I even posted a plurk in the past when I was feeling really down and mentioned how proud of myself I am at being able to fool people throughout the day and make them not even notice that I’m not feeling well.